50 Bucks says you can't top this...

[MicroDude]

My brothers dog (shih tzu) is possessed, my mom and brother are always fighting, 2nd bro lives in az and respects no one for who they are (im surprised he's not locked up in the fuzz house), 3rd bro has lost his mind and believes that he is god and his body shows it. (Note: my brothers are 24, 26, and 33 years) My dad is a diabetic without a sense of control and can drive better than michael schumacher in monaco, his friends are getting 100 pound chunks of fat lopped off of them every year, my friends need a reality check quick before they do something that might scar them for life, and did i mentioned that i'm starting to believe that satan follows me everywhere i go? I'm too freaking shy to ask ou a f*ing chick im startin to dig (go figure, 5 days of school left and testosterone finally decides to kick in), and the i'm starting to see litle slim-jim heads on top of the vodka bottle yelling, "DRINK ME!". My mouse is covered in drying blood now that my bite wound has finally stopped gushing, i'm always at the right place at the wrong time, my mom thinks the reason im freaking out over my family's disfunctionality is because i went racing last night. Because i went RACING last night. until 10:30 PM. YA RIGHT. God forbid should racing EVER do any HARM to my life. I'm about ready to kill something quick, possibly myself, before something corrupts me and sends me along wih this hellborne freight train some of you may instead call life.... and don't tell me it sucks, i know it does. don't tell me i need some serious social help, because i know people who that 500 dollar shrink would be better suited for. and most of all, don't try to pity me or actually try to care. I just wanna see who can top my new idea of hell (not to mention everything else going on, ie: india and pakistan fighting over a city that they know very well could just be split in half, who know that nuclear war is going to kill us all but they're not going to rule it out because of a 1 word difference between their bibles or whatever the hindu/islam holy relic is that is equivalent to the holy bible....)

[HO502cid]

I dunno what that was about. Is this truly happening? I dunno, I read it and I am scared...:confused:

[ZeroSanity]

Right, ummmm, 5 words, YOU SHOULD BE COMMITED. JK. I could top that, if I lied. Is that all really true? I hope not.

[MicroDude]

It's all true, but only to some extent.... ie: my brother does not actually believe he is god, but he has an ego about the size of Asia...

*edit*

The part about my dad's friends getting 100 pound chunks of fat getting lopped off of them is true... just so you know, thats about losing one of Pam Anderson's breasts every year. :D

*edit again*

I'm trying to get Black Water stuck in my head. How much better can it get....

[TGRupert]

THE FOLLOWING IS NOT SARCASM IT IS JUST THE SAD TRUTH


ha ha, you call the disfuntion? imagine this. imagine was not afraid of the dark, or hights. she is afraid of me. i'm nt violent or anything. my mere presence causes her great anxiety and causes her to totaly break down. very resently it has gotten very bad. I'm living with my grandmother who has bad lungs a bad heart and is battling cancer so she can actually use help, but after thqat my parents are going to pay for an apartment for me. rent is crazy here. when I was at home I couldn't be in the house from 8am till about 3pm. once I woke up to my mother and a bunch of day laborers and a dumpster she rented. If I didn't leave the house emediatly everything in my room was going in the dumpster. she didn't really care that I was on spring break and spent the last night throwinging up and looking at my bloody diarrea. this condition has nothing to do with a "bad lifestyle" because i don't drink, smoke, or use drugs. I'm a good kid. I work with children and adults with special needs. have you ever cleened a profounly retarded adult after the people caring for them left them dirty for at least an hour probably more like two or three, before you say yes I made 5.50 an hour doing this. I'm a really swell guy. if my friend didn't own a illegal lock picking gun I would have had to sleep undwer a bridge when she changed the locks .

[Mykroe]

Oh this is just great let's all just tell everyone our depressing life stories.

[HO502cid]

...or not

[Mykroe]

Bingo HO502cid...I was just floating a note of sarcasm their way...hehe...

[duxrneet]

Wow, this thread is really useful.

[HO502cid]

I won't say anything because atleast it is in the Off-Topic forum.

Mykroe - I sensed the sarcasm but I don't want anyone getting ideas.

[Mykroe]

haha dux lol. ho502cid - you never know what these people can come up with

[Mondo]

It'll cost you more that $50 to get any person to top that.

I had a friend who was posessed once. He got exorcised by a priest. He charged $100 for the ritual. My friend didn't pay him and got reposessed
I then came to the conclusion that gravity is a mere myth. The Earth just sucks..

Life's a journey and I enjoy the ride!


..and I ain't got no worries, 'coz I ain't in no hurry....

[ZeroSanity]

Rupe, maybe she so afraid of you because you made her mother wear a cookie monster costume and pose for the digi-cam holding two cookies to cover her hooters :D

[MicroDude]

Rupes, all i asked was to see if you could beat this. I didn't ask for something that would make me feel like losing my last meal. No one wants something tha would make them feel like losing their last meals unless they were spiked or pilled.


I wanna hear some funky dixy lampert and dance some honky tonk...

[TGRupert]

Originally posted by ZeroSanity
Rupe, maybe she so afraid of you because you made her mother wear a cookie monster costume and pose for the digi-cam holding two cookies to cover her hooters :D

no no no, my girl friends mother.

I actually know a story tthat could beat all of this. I am friends with a street proformer from boston who was dating this woman who had multiple personalities. they were created to deal with the fact that she grew up in a satanic child molesting cult. I could go into the details buyt I think we all know the oins and outs of satanic child molesting cults.

[duxrneet]

Of course, of course. It would simply be redundant to tell us.

[jw_j]

ok i gotta try and beat it...

i went through 12 years of school where i was constantly beaten within an inch of my life, once i got into high school i constantly left the house heavily armed, with a minimum of 20 knives on me, i was in my second year of being a jr and lookin at two more atleast when i dropped out, they required 80 credits to graduate and you could only earn 24 in the 4 years they gave you, i changed schools and graduated, joined my local volunteer fire department, ive had a floor, roof, wall, porch, tree, and house fall on me, ive had second degree burns to the side of my face because my nomex hood wasnt on correctly, i bubbled my helmet, warped my sheild, ruined a brand new mask, melted the guy behind me's helmet, his face sheild dripped away, he used all his oxygen in 4 minutes, the temperature in the house was 500 degrees, and we were stuck in a backdraft, i was told to wait till the door shut and did just that and was caught on fire because of it, i got the fire partially out and spent 40 minutes in the ambulance, and went back in 5 more times, went to another training class and nearly passed out because my face mask wasnt working properly, the last fire i went to i would take a breath and it would drop from 20 psi, to 0 psi, at 15 it would stop letting me have any air, i get griped out 90% of the time by my fire cheif, i spent 2 years working on my Eagle and am not going to get it because 2 sentences werent right and im well over 18

nuff said?

[xxtcrgp]

once, my ice-cream melted before I could eat it:(

[MicroDude]

I guess xxt is our winner :D

[jw_j]

lol way to go XXT

[Alex]

I dont noe wat you guys find funny in all of this......i serioulsy feel very sad because of reading all of this.....i hope none of this is true.....hopefully...:(

[xxtcrgp]

its a very sad thing, but it is true. All that ice-cream to waste*nods head*

[Mykroe]

jw_j i dont know what to say...maybe you shouold try your luck in the army? hehe and xxt lmao!

[Alex]

u guys are sick

[Mykroe]

Gee, thanks alex! Anyways you know what they say, don't cry over MELTED ICE CREAM!!!! LOL i just can't get enuff of the ice cream joke lol!

[Rupert's Ghost]

I'm homeless:(

[Mykroe]

Poor thing you. Where have u been rupes?

[Rupert's Ghost]

I rather not say, I'm trying to keep a low profile. The idea is that if my parents want to kick me out of their house durring summer break because I stay up late and don't leave the house by 8:30 every morning then I will not give them the luxjury of picking where I get to live, knowing where I am living, if i'm living. also my mother let me know she was kind enough to give me a dividend check with MY name on it so I can pay for my medicine. She let me know that she was VERY kind to do so and didn't have to. I will not cash this check and will not take my medicine because I don't need her charity. she will be able to lokk forward to me making public apearences in my town with big signs about my condition. I will also go through the garbage looking for cans so I can collect the deposit. we live in a very small town. everyone knows my family. I will also apeal to the town's counsel durring their televised meetings to open up a homeless shelter. I may even aqpear in front of my fathers large manhatan office building with signs. they will have his buisness's name on it and his phone number.

[Mykroe]

Are you even serious about half that stuff? If you are then I don't know what to say....:(

[MicroDude]

Umm, ok rupes.... w/e u say.... i don't know whether to partially believe it or forget i ever heard anything out of you....

[Rupert's Ghost]

this isn't a joke last night I slept under a bridge.

[elementuu]

this fourm is starting to scare me:rolleyes: